MANCHESTER — Khadija 'Bunny' Shaw scored four goals against Aston Villa, officially reclassifying the match as a "bullying incident" rather than a sporting contest.
The Jamaican striker didn't just beat the defence; she spiritually dismantled them. Villa's goalkeeper was seen waving a white flag in the 60th minute, but the referee ruled it offside.
"It's unfair," complained the Villa manager. "She has springs in her boots. We checked. It's in the name 'Bunny'. Premier League investigation demanded!"
City are now top of the league, mostly because Shaw has scored more goals than the entire bottom half of the table combined.